Blog post anxiety moment

I am making an assumption that every beginning blogger feels exactly the same anxiety at this moment.  It's a blank page, that will soon be public, so it'd better be good. Or at the very least entertaining. I mean,who's going to read this anyway? I'm working on that confidence thing... it's all part of the plan.

Life is full of opportunity. I have been living proof of that, and also of what happens when you seize it. Among those opportunities are little moments that define and design who we are and who we become.  I have begun to notice and identify those moments of design and I find them fascinating. I believe that we are forever incomplete for a reason.  It keeps the canvas open for more possibility. We make a million little choices which ultimately shape who we are. I am trying to capture mine.  Even a few of them.

One of today's defining moments is this post.  I have always wanted to start a blog.  I am not a classically trained, dedicated writer.  I do not have ambitions of being a stellar and world famous novelist.  I do not pine away hours attempting to come up with topics that move or change the world.  I just like writing. It makes me happy.  And that is the theme of my latest design.

I am a relatively happy person, but I feel that more could be done to solidify a stable happiness quotient. Unfortunately, as a mother and wife, I have the role of setting the tone for the household.  It is not a role I relish, but one that I accept.  In turn, I have decided that it is important to focus on what matters, whether trivial or monumental, because that will increase the level of happiness felt by all around me.

I remember turning 30 and a friend of mine told me that you really start to evaluate significance of people and decisions in your life.  Suddenly you are real adult (don't ask me why, when not in your 20s the world takes you more seriously) and the choices made now weigh heavily.  I have honestly felt that, though part of me wonders if it isn't the power of suggestion and a little self-fulfilling prophecy that has made this real. As I redefine and design the person I want to be, I notice more of these little moments.  

Wouldn't you choose to be with them, always?

Aside from truly beginning my blog, my moment of design for today was stepping out of my comfort zone to accept an invitation from new people. I have recently relocated far from everything comfortable that once defined my life, and I've struggled with the idea of "starting over" in the human relations realm. I have very real and definable limitations, which I vacillate between embracing and trying to conquer. In order to form new friendships I feel I owe it to all involved to be the best version of myself. A blatant openness is the only way I can come up with to accomplish this.  When accepting the invitation to go gold panning with the youth pastors from a church we rarely attend I defined my boundaries up front, explaining that we do everything with our children, so I hoped it would be alright that we make kid friendly concessions.  They were understanding, welcoming of the idea and even complimentary that we had chosen that path.

Moment of Design captured...